On Cutting

Well, tonight’s the first time in years that I’ve cut. I was never much of a cutter, to be honest. I’m really not sure what prompted it. But for whatever reason I decided to cut.

I knew I had these disposable razors. I figured there was some way to get to the individual razor blades. I was right. So I tore the razor apart, and pulled one blade off. And I started. I chose my leg because it’s much easier to hide legs than arms. I can wear pants all summer, but I can’t wear long sleeves all summer.

Since I’ve never really had a habit of cutting, especially with razors, I have no idea how the scarring/healing process works. It’s kind of unnerving. I’ve pretty much always used my nails or my earrings in the past. Earrings that you originally get your ears pierced with are fairly effective. And they leave scars that last awhile, but they don’t really leave scabs.

Well, shit. Now I have some stuff on my leg that I’m not sure I want. And I have no idea how long it’s going to last.

Fuck.

(Side note-I think it’s really pretty the way the blood blossoms up from the cuts. It’s like little beads. Yeah, I have issues. I’m aware.)